Raising Men

Where have all the young men gone?

I ask this not because I am criticizing modern parenting practices but because I am scared for my child’s future. I came across a woman’s blog today that truly terrified me. She is actively raising her son to be a feminist, as if he should not have any choice in the matter or even take pride in his strengths as a male. This brought on a lot of discussion between Handsome Husband and myself, and we could both agree that the bigger issue here is that boys are no longer growing up to be men. I don’t know the right way to describe this modern phenomenon, but it is happening with or without my consent and does not bode well for our future.

One of the definitions of “man” describes him to be an adult, male person that has masculine qualities (i.e. strength or boldness). When you look at the next generation of boys, do you see these qualities often? I don’t.

Here’s what I see: timid, politically correct males that have a shoe collection bigger than mine. I see males terrified to speak up about injustices because of dominant females. I see males wearing SKINNY JEANS!!! Oh – and let’s not even discuss the “guyliner” trend.

My dear nephew that I helped to raise as my own child for the first few years of his life cries and whines and gets rolled over by the girls at school. Is this partially my fault, or are there bigger issues to this picture here?

Are we raising our girls to be “men” these days? Our women have powerful jobs, higher education, and loud voices. We have the power to obliterate “Men At Work” signs on the roads simply because we find them to be ‘sexist’ and a product of discrimination. What are we doing for our girls that empowers them so, and how can we spread the love to the boys?

Am I missing something here? What are your thoughts on gender roles in society? Do you agree that there is some role reversal going on here, or am I just delusional? 🙂 If you have boys, what steps are you taking to instill “masculine” qualities in them (or is this step even necessary?)

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About Classic Mommy | Atlanta Mom Blogger

Atlanta Mom Blogger | Enjoys sweet tea and a good challenge | Dislikes dirty fingernails and whining | Mom to Danger | Wife to Dre | Family Travel Blogger
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12 Responses to Raising Men

  1. Lisa says:

    Great post! Along with the dumbing down of America through the public schools there is a also huge push to de-masculinize the male population. My 15 yr. old son was just commenting on this today. I have 5 boys whom my husband & I are raising to be future leaders, chivalrous men who will accept the calling God has before them.

    On a lighter note, there’s a fun Tuesday blog hop going on. Come link up:
    http://raisingfutureleaders.blogspot.com/2010/08/im-so-close-new-tuesday-blog-hop.html

    Lisa xoxo

  2. I’ve noticed that about public schools, too, with my nephew. Kudos to you for raising the future leaders of America 🙂 I am very inspired by your blog, Lisa. Have an awesome week!

  3. I find it highly encouraging that there are women, too, who start to see this as a problem—and have the guts to speak out.

  4. You know, this makes me nervous as well. I’m all for gender equality and being politically correct. But we can’t ignore our God given gender differences.
    I see so many effeminate heterosexual men nowadays and I worry that that is the direction that men in this country are headed.
    I want to raise my son to open doors for women and old ladies, to give up his seat when there is a pregnant woman standing, to feel strongly about providing for his family. I want to raise my daughter to be her own person, to have the heart of an angel and the strength that only a woman can possess. My children are equal in my eyes in every way, but that doesn’t mean I am raising them the same way. I think embracing the differences between men and women is the best thing you can teach your children, AND the most important way to teach gender equality. Different doesn’t mean better.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, Heather. I do believe that there are gender differences and that although we should treat each other equally (as in fairness, etc) we need to be mindful of their differences, as well. I love the way you described the things that you want to teach your children.

  5. Allie says:

    I am very impressed that you are taking the leap to bring up this subject. I agree with everything you said.

  6. Heather says:

    I recently shared a blog post about something similar and got a total backlash from the Feminist Society in the blogging community. It was a little different, but it was about how the Woman’s Revolution has in many ways done us in. (In many ways, not all). At any rate, I think today’s boys have a much bigger problem then being trampled over by women…I think its lack of motivation. I have seen countless teen boys…family friends kids, who have no goals or dreams in life and waste it away on a girl friend or something like that. We’ve raised our boys to be sensitive to women’s issues, but we haven’t taught them to have a backbone. I think making sure boys play a sport of some sort in school will help this a little. I agree with you, I think instead of having a clearly defined female male role, its being skewed a little…… men still have more advantages in the workplace than women, but women fight harder for those positions then men do. A lot of times if a woman goes into a job interview indicating in some way she has children, she’s knocked down a notch…..so if anything good comes out of this loss of male testosterone I hope it equals out job qualification skills instead of if you are male or female. Sorry I’ve said so much. I have mixed views on this, but for the most part I agree with this topic you’ve brought up.

    I’m visiting you via Twitter Tuesday Blog Hops. You can come back to my blog and grab my button if you like. Would love for you to follow and visit me as well! 🙂

    Mommy Only Has Two Hands!

    • I will definitely check out your blog. I would love to read more about the things that you have pointed out! I like how you said that we haven’t taught our men to have a backbone. This is the total gist of what I wanted to say but just couldn’t put it into words 🙂 Again, thanks for sharing!

  7. Pingback: Raising Men: 2 | Classic Mommy

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