Sometimes I Should Just Keep My Mouth Shut!

“Were you trying to get pregnant again?”

The words above were the first words I spoke after a friend revealed to me that she was pregnant with her third child. I should have mustered up the enthusiasm to simply congratulate the poor gal, but that was just not happening at that particular moment.

Bringing a child into the world is something so big and life-altering. To be quite frank, it is my opinion that any time a woman gets physical, she should keep the possibility of pregnancy (and disease)  in mind and take the appropriate precautions if she does not want to have a child. I learned that lesson firsthand, when my beautiful daughter was conceived after one night of craziness with Handsome Husband.

There are women that are not cut out to be mothers. Let’s admit it – some women just do not have a maternal side. That’s not a bad thing. A lot of women do not want to have children. There are also women that already have their hands full and their pocketbooks empty and just cannot support themselves, let alone a child. My friend falls into this last category, and possibly the first.

She wants me to help name her baby (it’s a girl), and to provide advice and reassurance for her pregnancy. Really, I am not so sure I feel comfortable talking with her about the newest addition to her family. My stomach has been in knots ever since she took me aside yesterday and revealed that she has been hiding her 17-week pregnancy.

I am trying to look at this in a positive way, but I just cannot seem to find the silver lining here. I felt the same way about myself when I got pregnant (although to a lesser extent), so yes, my judgmental tendency here goes both ways.

How do you suck it up and find a way to make this moment with a friend special, rather than stressful? Should I just fake a smile, or should I just stay away from her for now until I am able to have a real smile to share? And be real – do you think I’m a monster for feeling this way about someone so close to me? It’s ok if you say yes 🙂

This baby is going to happen whether I approve of it or not, so I am quite aware that this has nothing whatsoever to do with me. I just simply have the desire to be a blessing for my friend, and I can’t be that to her while I am stuck in this mental state.

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About Classic Mommy | Atlanta Mom Blogger

Atlanta Mom Blogger | Enjoys sweet tea and a good challenge | Dislikes dirty fingernails and whining | Mom to Danger | Wife to Dre | Family Travel Blogger
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2 Responses to Sometimes I Should Just Keep My Mouth Shut!

  1. Heather says:

    Well first of all, its not your stress to carry, its hers. While a third child may not be desirable, she seems happy about it and maybe she’s sure that God will provide for them. I want another child even though we really aren’t financially well off, I’m not going to let it interfere in my desire for a larger family. Many families making it month to month are happy just knowing they have each other and a meal on the table.
    I would try to be supportive even if it looks like things are falling apart for her. I mean while this might not have been something she planned, how do you look down upon the baby growing inside you? You can still be a supportive friend, but let her troubles be hers. Don’t internalize them, so yes if you are around her, I would put on the smiley face until you can really be happy for her. I certainly do not think you are a monster, I don’t know the full situation. These are your thoughts and you are entitled to them. She doesn’t read your blog right? She might be hurt if she read this and if you two are as close as you said.

    Anyway, just showing some comment love from your tweet. Hope you have a great Tuesday evening.

    • Heather, I can totally see what you are saying. Our situation is more complex than finances, and there are many details that I have chosen not to share with the internet world because I do value my friendship so much (even though she does not have a computer and would never read what I have written, I know that she would take my feelings of despair the wrong way.) I am trying to find some inner peace to share with her, but I just do not know where or how to do that. Thanks so much for your insight into the situation. It really does help seeing things from someone else’s perspective!

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