Attached To A Social Life… And A Baby

My little Danger! The love of my life!

My husband and I are attached to our daughter. I do not think this is a bad thing – in fact, many doctors and child experts encourage parents to form a strong relationship with their children (ever heard of Dr. Sears?) We share our lives, our bed, our food, and my breasts with little Danger, in the hopes of giving her the best start in life. Consequently, our social life has pretty much become a thing of the past, which is NOT a good thing.

One particular “problem” that we have struggled with finding balance with is that of breastfeeding. The rational part of my brain tells me that I am doing the right thing by breastfeeding our daughter. She has been, and will continue to be, a very healthy little girl. I’ve cut my risk of developing breast cancer, and although being diagnosed with breast cancer is most likely an unavoidable future for me, I’m doing all that I can to prevent it. The health benefits for both baby and myself are invaluable, and are so important that there should really be no contest, right?

The selfish part of my brain keeps pointing out the many different times that my husband and I have been left out of plans because of our choice to be present parents. The rational part of my brain always wins out, but when I choose to stick with my child over accepting invitations from friends (on the rare occasion that we are still invited) it is a half-hearted victory.

This shouldn’t be a struggle. I should be ecstatic that I am doing what little I can to influence my child’s health and future. But why does that selfish part of me have to speak up so loudly and so often?

Maybe the solution is to make some new friends. It would be great to add some new faces to our “group” and would definitely help when planning trips or other outings. I would have an ally, someone that understands how much it hurts to feel left out by friends that do not breastfeed.

Do you have another solution to my little predicament? I would LOVE to read your suggestions! Don’t get me wrong: Attachment parenting is great! I just need help figuring it out.

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About Classic Mommy | Atlanta Mom Blogger

Atlanta Mom Blogger | Enjoys sweet tea and a good challenge | Dislikes dirty fingernails and whining | Mom to Danger | Wife to Dre | Family Travel Blogger
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7 Responses to Attached To A Social Life… And A Baby

  1. Rheanna says:

    Have you ever heard of MOPS international? My husband I moved to a new place because of the military, and besides finding a new church, locating a MOPS group was next on my list. It has always been an invaluable resources when at least getting me in the right direction towards making some fellow mommy friends. check out MOPS.org to see if there is a group in your area. MOPS stands for Mother’s of Preschoolers (0-5years old). I don’t think its selfish to want to go out at all. I think its important to cultivate that part of your life. Finding balance in anything is a positive thing ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I haven’t heard of MOPS international before, but I will definitely look them up! Thanks so much for filling me in. It sounds like a wonderful resource… and who couldn’t use another friend or two? ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Oh, man, I hear you. My day today was filled with very similar thoughts! My daughter is now 9 months old. I have been practicing natural breastfeeding (no pump) from day 1 and as luck/God/life would have it, I got a daughter who liked really long feeding sessions in the early months, punctuated by crying spells. ‘Tis much better now, but anyway, I was with her 24/7 for 6 months… well, now I still am but at least at weekends, occasionally, I can nip out for some ‘me’ time. I too feel this conflict of heart and mind and alas mind always wins with me. Mind pushes me to do what is ‘right’, what I ought to do for the health and wellbeing of my daughter – which is all about future and other so if I am not careful it takes me right out of the here and now and my heart’s wisdom which points me back to what *feels* right. If only I listened…

    So, sorry, I have no advice, only empathy at this point. Do you have an attachment parenting group near you? There is one here, but I have got to say though my parenting is very clearly AP I often find APers a bit too hard line, dogmatic but like you, I yearn for some people who understand and support my choices. Let me cheer you on from afar and I can be part of your virtual-community ๐Ÿ™‚

    Remember: this too will pass and you will be left feeling proud of having done the right thing for your kid, even when it wasn’t easy.

    • Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ Sometimes it is helps just to be reminded that I am not alone with this. I don’t want to be the crazy parent that always hovers around my child, but in truth, my daughter IS the center of my world. Best of luck to you as you navigate through this time, as well!

    • Yes, and I have bookmarked the site ๐Ÿ™‚ The one in my area is not too bad of a drive for meetings, and the family outings and hikes seem like a fun idea! Thanks for sharing this group with me!

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