Discovering Autumn

I have always had issues with self-confidence. There’s a very vocal critic in the back of my thoughts, and the closer I get to age 30, the louder she becomes. I remember bawling my heart out when I turned 22, because I feared that I had nothing else to look forward to. As if the numbers on a calendar, a scale, or any other tool that we use to measure every tangible portion of our lives is of any significance to my life, I have fallen victim to measuring away my life and wasting the best moments of it.

 

One of the best side-effects of becoming someone’s mother is that I now have a fair amount of self-acceptance. I do not expect my boobs to sit up nicely toward my throat anymore, and this is all because I use them to nourish my daughter. That’s a pretty acceptable trade-off, in my opinion. My bottom, on the other hand, I cannot explain. I used to pride myself on my nice bottom. Unfortunately for me, there now resides a mass that is more saddlebag than bubble. Handsome Husband, God bless his heart, still loves every single inch of my body, and I have learned to accept the parts of me that I cannot change.

There is still this part of me that wants to do more, be more, than what I am today. My biggest accomplishment cannot be graduating with honors or squeezing out a child. These are things that anyone could do. Until I can find that little niche that only I can fill, I fear that my desire of greatness will go unfulfilled…

The fear lasts only so long as I forget what is most important to me – my daughter. She is a very bright, sweet girl, and I believe that by raising such a person, I am impacting the future of America. Now that is a big accomplishment!

It is taboo to write so much about yourself on a public blog, but I am hoping that by sharing my story with you, I am helping you to find ordinary things about yourself that make you extraordinary. Are you raising up the future great citizens of America? Have you accomplished anything since becoming a parent that you are particularly proud of? I would love to read your stories!

Don’t forget – the BabyLegs giveaway ends tonight! Get in those last minute entries. My daughter wears at least one BabyLegs product every day now! {Obviously, I think the products ROCK!} Take care, my friends!

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About Classic Mommy | Atlanta Mom Blogger

Atlanta Mom Blogger | Enjoys sweet tea and a good challenge | Dislikes dirty fingernails and whining | Mom to Danger | Wife to Dre | Family Travel Blogger
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10 Responses to Discovering Autumn

  1. DP says:

    Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog! Come back soon.
    I’m looking forward to reading more about you and your adventures. I totally felt the same as you at 22 …

    You should definitely put a Google Friends Connect button so we can follow each other. Good luck blogging! πŸ™‚ Your daughter is just precious!

    Hip Chick’s Guide to PMS, Pregnancy, and Babies
    http://www.twitter.com/hipchickblog

  2. beliefinus says:

    Good morning! I to have struggled for the past 4 years with finding myself. After I stopped working to raise my kids I lost every bit of myself. It’s funny how we go to school, get a degree, work a little, get married and then it’s all gone. Your just a mom now! A wife and now what? Well honey that’s when it can get really fun!! I’ve discovered that now I can do what I want when i want with my kids in tow! It is very important to me to have my kids grow up being productive adults. But not in the traditional sense. No one prepared me for what adulthood could or could not be like. I am taking the time to educate myself and my kids with new views and having a complete package. Teaching my sons how to look at their wives differently and not forget later when they get married that a woman is the glue in the family! Our roles are very important and if you need to reach out to other women to help find your way go for it!! You are not alone! Yep my body I use to be perfect in is a little intoned but I don’t care anymore! I let that hangup go! Because either I will do something about it everyday or I won’t. But no more of that stupid worry guy on my shoulder eating up my happiness and joy! If I want to exercise today than I will. If I want to lay around and be lazy with my kids then great too!!
    Much love to you!!
    April
    http://Www.beliefinus.wordpress.com
    http://Www.mindsdochange.blogspot.com

    • I love your enthusiasm! I do think that happiness is the most important thing, and I am working hard to kick the “worry guy” off my shoulders πŸ™‚ Big hugs to you, April!

  3. Eschelle says:

    As you may know I am a young mother of only 23. I have two boys under four (my eldest just turned three), and I have the same body image issues as yourself. I hate it… maybe more so cause all my gfs are gorgeous, small, party girls. ENVIOUS! Then i go out with them…. I may have missed that time to be a 20 yr old (i got preggies with eldest when i was 19, had him four days after my 20th birthday), but I don’t regret it. I went to a club the other night and decided i hated it cause people don’t wear clothing and all the popped collars made me want to implode! I realized that I hadn’t missed anything, other than a lot of hangovers and sweaty pigs.

    My children made me a better ME i think, I am going back to school to finish my high school (i never passed math, B student in everything else luckily so i don’t have much to do), so that i can eventually go to post secondary… somehow… if i ever have any money or if i get enough bursaries etc… Hopefully it all works out. Leading by example is, i think, one of the best ways to be a better person and to do what you have always wanted to do.

    • I, too, feel at times that I have missed out on some of my youth… Well, at least until I find myself playing with my little one’s toys. lol Then I feel like a kid again, and I am so glad that I am young enough to crawl, run, and jump around with my kiddo.
      You should be very proud of your accomplishments! Your little boys are so stinkin’ cute, and the fact that they motivate you to become a better YOU is an amazing thing! Big hugs, Eschelle! Have a super weekend!

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  5. noturavgmom says:

    I feel the same about my boobs too now that I’m a mommy of two and breastfed both of them for more than a year each. My bottom on the other hand was always non existent being Asian and all. πŸ˜‰ I too try to look for the best in my life, but I admit it’s very hard. Love your blog!

  6. Aimie Alago says:

    I think you and your butt are beautiful Autumn! You look fantastic for being a mommy but I completely understand…it’s hard for us not to be critical of ourselves. Our bodies change so quickly after having a baby its hard not to be absolutely shocked by those changes. I find myself now staring in the mirror at the crows feet starting to emerge, the muffin top that will probably NEVER go away, the dark circles under my eyes and that is when I realize that I am not 18 anymore…even though it feels like just yesterday that I was. Somehow, we have to learn to love our mommy bodies as the vessels of creation and nourishment that God created them to be. Love!

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